here we are again, well i managed a few hours sleep an i even managed to eat a little, last night i linked my children to each other on facebook , i hope more than anything they can build a relationship but my son is so full of hatred to me and my daughter expects the world to owe her a favour because of me it could all backfire,
i had to tell my big brother today , i needed to i have always relied on him, i hope he is ok i guess he was stunned because he hummed and asked the same questions over and over , i told him its gonna be fine im a fighter i dont give up and i am i will fight this bastard and i will win and i will celebrate every day he wanted to come up all the way from london so i had family with me , and swore him not to tell jenny i cant be doing with that at the moment.
i have friends for dinner tonight ..my house is soo busy but sometimes i just wanna be on my own , wallowing then when i am i sit and think and leak , ive set up a spotify playlist for the songs i want at my funeral / wake ...what happened to positive thinking trace ..oh yeah you save that for everyone else when really your just a scared little girl in a broken old body
i got my letter from the hospital to confirm tuesday, if i have a biopsy and that bit im sure of i dont get the results for a week ..like hell i will be hassling them everyday im gonna mention this on friday
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